You wanna explain this?

So today was monday and it was awful! 7 people on the floor plus the bartender how is anyone gonna make any money? As a person with a job that isn't a server why does that make you feel you can treat us (servers) like your maids? You throw me attitude I'mma throw yo ass some back!
But ne ways mondays SUCK!

Can I get....

So as a waitress at a well known restaurant I decided what better way to get rid of all the crazy stuff that happens than to write about it so here goes:

So we recently had new coupons go out for people to get a better deal when they eat at RT but I swear I've never hated anything more! When a check is $ 60 and the coupon makes it $ 40 why would you tip less? Did I do $40 worth of work? Uh NO! so WTF? I smile and answer your questions, laugh at your dumb ass jokes and you run me like a house maid and expect me to read your mind and tip me crap so why do you feel I deserve less? On top of everything else I had one lady had the nerve to tell me " I didn't want lemon so can you take this cup back and bring me a new water and don't go back there and take it out and bring me the same one" HOLD UP lady the lemon was on the side of the cup I wanted to take it off at the table and smile brightly and say there you go! But I also wanted to take the lemon dunk it in the cup and say DRINK THAT SHIT! We were really busy tonight and I am thankful for that but why must people be so mean when they go out to eat I know I don't deserve to be treated meanly just because you had a bad day and if you think I'm going to stand there and take it you're so wrong. Don't people learn anything? You never mess with the person who handles your food!

In this crazy world.

A man who can wear the mask and play the part so well that when he takes the mask off you are taken completely by surprise and rejoice in the fact that it was done so well. But when it's everyone in my life I'm not rejoicing. I'm actually very mad. As a very independent woman I pride myself on watching who I let into my life but it seems that everyone that I did was wearing a mask and playing their role so well that it seems as if the CUT has been called and everyone is taking their masks off and I'm the one with the dunce cap on, ain't that some bull.

So if I feel like you're not playing the part that you once were you will be let go I have no qualms in releasing you from my life with out explanation. My life is falling in shambles because no one has the balls to be themselves with out a mask. So Fu** it I'm done.

What it's boiling down to.

So a giant leap forward and a a uncanny fallback and I'm back where I started. Jokes on me huh? Nah not at all. Live and learn right? RITE!! So this school year is almost over THANK HIM WHO SITS ON HIGH! I'm so tired of this damn school and most of the people in it. I didn't come here to vent but thats what it's starting to look like so I'll get back to what I came here for. I've recently decided that the quote "If you let something go and it comes back it's meant to be yours" is so untrue. No it was taken away the first time for a reason so why would you want it back that must mean something better is out there right? So I'm going to start embracing life more I think(not sure what I'm about to get myself into). This spring fever might just be melting my brain.

I'm going to take a trip this summer in my lilbit =) (the aveo for those who don't know) to the beach where the men are halfnaked, the sun shines hot, and the water is warm. Can't wait. The hunt is on for the perfect bikini YES!! Got the tummy pierced for a reason =) Any suggestions?

On a different note: I'm 21 now and older men still give me the creeps my mom tried to set me up with one showing my picture on her phone to them and such SO WIERD! But I've decided I've given up on men for right now. HOLD UP.. not saying I'm going to the other side just focusing on having fun is all.

Well n-e-who summer's coming who knows whats in store?

Frustration unleashed...

Happiness is a lie. Spread to make people search to spend enormous amounts of time looking for something that can't be found. Why do we feed others the lie? Because misery loves company. So what am I going to do? I'm going to stop searching, stop reaching. I'm tired , lost, and broken by life and by love. I want to leave...to just sit it all down and walk away and never look back. I have bound my heart to sorrow and have no idea how to get it back. It can no longer be locked in a small box and put on a shelf. It has become the tumor in my brain, raging and killing everything it touches and growing..widening until there is no more to feed off of all is lost. My head is heavy and I desire a long nap to ease such a burden. And as my thoughts thin to dreamless sleep I do for only hours escape the pain the sorrow, the disappointment in everything. And now the pressure lifts because once again the "I don't care" attitude is back. Breaking any ties with everyone just to preserve what little sanity I do have left.

This relocation process..

So I'm moving...again!

And each process is getting harder
for many reasons..1. I make too many abrupt
decisions. 2. I'm too used to seeing the same surroundings.
3. I'll be around people I don't know. 4. I have way to much stuff : )
5. I have to ask for help (something I'm not kin to doin). But the happy thing
in the end is I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE YEAR IN CHARLOTTE! YaY.
But I'm stilltrying to pin down the settle down spot...Mos def. the south.

So...I've been on here a bit but I'm not the one for writing and letting others read it but I'm gonna try it. I'm not a writer, I'm not a person with all these ideas or thoughts I wanna share. I'm just a woman...living a life that I'll never be satisfied with just trying to find me.
Today..right now I wonder..When will I begin to see through others for what they really are before they get the chance to hurt me? So far I still haven't figured it out..If you know please share. =)

Night